An invitation to walk with your story
Here is an invitation for you.
Next time you are out on a walk, think about your own story, your leadership story or the other stories you carry about yourself. Some of them you tell yourself, and some were told to you by other people, perhaps when you were a child.
Notice the positives, the successes, the insights, the development of you, through the seasons.
The thinking behind this invitation comes from Barbara Fredrickson’s broaden-and-build theory. Fredrickson proposes that positive emotions such as joy, interest and awe widen our attention and open up more ways of thinking and acting, so we become more curious and more willing to explore. Over time those moments build lasting resources, improving relationships, connection and resilience, which stay with us after the feeling has passed. She calls this an upward spiral, and it is what I am trying to create when I take leaders outdoors.
Here is what that looked like recently, on a day of group coaching with senior leaders. The brief for the day was to tell your story to someone and have them tell it back to you through deep listening. We rarely get to hear our own story in someone else’s words, and when we do, we start to see what limits us and what we tell ourselves. It is also a chance to stop and appreciate what we have achieved, the good we have done in the world, who loves us and who and what we deeply care about.
Have you ever told your story to someone, and heard it spoken back to you?
Part of the day was a walk. We stopped at a gate marked “No entry” and talked about what each of us does when we meet a boundary: cross it, ask permission or beg forgiveness. We laughed, chatted about a time… and then walked on.
What do you do when you meet a boundary?
On the way down to the water, I invited everyone to find something that represented their insights or feelings from the day. One person came back with a pine cone, another with a fallen twig covered in antler moss, and one came back with nothing at all, which led into a rich conversation about doing the right thing for ourselves - there is no right or wrong answer here, just our head, heart and intuition, and how we align them to make good decisions.
By the water I watched people slow down, wander, notice more and show up, really show up, bringing back something meaningful to share. I realised in that moment that I was in the same place, working from my strengths and fully showing up, imperfections and all, and that nature was holding us. It held space for all of us, me included, to show up rather than simply turn up.
Where do you feel safe enough to show up?
I wondered how often people get the chance to feel this way, safe enough in their leadership roles to be playful, curious and open-hearted, without the pressure to perform, to be seen to have all the answers, or to keep going with no time to reflect on how things have gone.
I was glad we were all there together, and I knew in that moment that this brought me energy, made me feel alive and at my best. And that I wanted to tell and live more of this story.